"Your circumstances don't mean you can't be extraordinary" - Kadeena Cox, Paralympic Champion

"I love pushing boundaries and proving that things aren’t impossible. I love achieving things that nobody else has and proving to others that your circumstances and disabilities don’t mean you can’t be extraordinary."

Kadeena Cox MBE is a British Paralympic athlete. Amongst others, she has achieved gold medals at the 2016 Paralympic Games in Rio, the 2015 World Championships in Doha and the 2016 Track World Championships in Montichiari.

I was on my way to a competition in May 2014, when I got out of the car and realised my leg felt dead. I wrote it off as pins and needles and thought it would wear off; it had been a long journey, after all. But then I tried to run and found that I just couldn’t get my leg to do what I needed it to do… what it usually did.

I drove home with a massive headache - I put it down to dehydration as I’d been racing. When I woke up the next day, the whole right-hand side of my body wasn’t right and my speech was slurred. I was still studying Physiotherapy at the time and we’d been learning about stroke that very week, so of course my thoughts jumped to that. I wondered if I was overthinking it, putting all the symptoms together from class. I went to hospital that morning and it was soon confirmed without doubt that I did indeed have a stroke.

I managed to recover quickly. By September, I was almost at full strength and looking forward to getting back into training. But then one day I woke up with burning and tingling in my arms, and over the course of three or four days it had spread from just one patch to my whole arm. On the fifth day my whole body, everything below my neck, was tingling. I was seriously uncoordinated and unable to move properly, and that’s when I went to hospital and was diagnosed with MS (Multiple Sclerosis).

I’d managed to build myself up after the stroke, and it was all taken away from me again - you can recover from a stroke, whereas MS is a lifelong condition that I will never lose. One of the first questions we asked the consultant was whether I’d be able to compete again. He said yes, so I took his word and ran with it – literally! Within two years, I was at the Olympics.

When I read back through my diary at what happened during that time, I realise how much of a struggle it was. After my MS diagnosis, I spent three whole months indoors. I was unable to leave the house because I couldn’t walk very fast or without support. I had an amazing physiotherapist who was incredibly supportive – every morning I was strapped into a treadmill that supported my body in order to run. We spent a lot of time figuring out what exercises I could do, trying whatever we could to help my recovery. We worked so hard.

At first, I couldn’t run without falling over, so my strength and conditioning coach introduced me to cycling. I was still so wobbly, and a wattbike was the only thing I could use without falling. My coach pointed out that I had a lot of power, so we got in touch with British Cycling and they snapped me up for their team. Athletics will always be my first love, it got me through all the tough times, but I love the thrill of going fast, and I can go faster on a bike.

It was just one year after my MS diagnosis that I got my first World Championships medal for Athletics, in the 100m TM37 final. In the heats leading up to that race I posted a time of 13.59 seconds, beating the world record set by Mandy Francois-Elie from France. This was my first world record, and I didn’t expect it to happen. I said I’d do it, but to actually turn it around that quickly was a feat. By focusing only on the things I could do and the things I could change, sport had enabled me to gain control over my condition and really, truly excel.

Mentally, it was tricky to return to Athletics after my MS diagnosis and I really struggled with not being as good as I used to be. There was a point where I considered quitting, but I managed to get over that. One of the biggest problems I’ve struggled with has been my body image. I deal with MS very well, but I’m still getting my head around the fact that due to taking steroids, I gained weight during my three house-bound months. I’ve never been able to lose it, which is hard as an athlete and as a female.

I set lots of little goals and tick them off one by one, instead of looking at the bigger picture. For example, I’m set on getting to the Tokyo 2020 Paralympics, and I’d like to compete in both the summer and winter Olympics in the same year. It’s a massive task and I do love a challenge, but I’m so far from where I need to be. If I spent my time thinking about that, I’d freak out, so giving myself small goals and making small improvements keeps me on track. As long as I know I’m hitting those goals, I’m able to keep moving forwards.

Athletes have in-built resilience, and I’ve always been driven. I love pushing boundaries and proving that things aren’t impossible. I love achieving things that nobody else has and proving to others that your circumstances and disabilities don’t mean that you can’t be extraordinary. Never give up on your dreams. If you have a disability, you can adapt and still enjoy whatever you’re doing, even if it’s different. Challenges become so much more rewarding with struggle.

I take strength from the team I have around me and my faith. I have a great support network. When things don’t go well, we evaluate and adapt. And of course, I know God has always got things in hand. Even if things don’t go the way I want them to right now, they will happen eventually, just as they’re meant to.

This article was originally featured in Issue 2 of Ash Magazine.

Kadeena was interviewed by Charlotte Ruth (@charberto)

Images by Melissa Gresswell.